So, today was great! My session with Michael was relaxing which I needed! I had such a rough week I didn’t need anymore crap going on to stress me out. After that I spent the day with Nathan taking photos of everything&anything which I love love love love to do! :) Then after all my crazy photography, I got to see my adoptive mom (Mrs. Reed). I showed her my lovely Dean’s List “material” grades! She was proud! And totally not mad at me like I always think! She says she might not be back next year for her job but that is okay… I guess I have to let go of everything like always. I should learn by now how to handle the losses. I mean I really do wish I don’t care what anyone says but I wish, I could atleast keep one thing for once in my life. I hate losing everything I love the most. I know we are meant to, to realize how important they really are and how we take advantage of everything all the time but still… I’ve learnt that lesson several times and never really had anything to keep anyways. No ones really been this nice to me before, so losing her is just plain out wrong…. :( I don’t understand it really. Just makes me believe i’m not worth it anymore…
This is my new snowflake necklace that I have been dying to get since day 1 when I saw it. It means a lot to me. First, the main is I love winter. I love the Christmas holidays it always reminds me why I am so happy to be alive. Second, the crystal reminds of how pure something really can be. Helps me remember why in the first place I am alive, because deep down we are all beautiful. I know that sounds cheesy but it is an amazing feeling. Third, just a side note, the clear crystal part reminds me of a raindrop, and I love walking through the rain. It gives me beyond joy. :)
I only want one thing for Christmas and that is someone to love me.
I just want to say this for today’s post. I am real nervous but at the same time excited for my session today. I guess because I want to tell Michael how much has been fixed about me but at the same time, how scared I am to officially let him go. :( Why is there always two sides of every event in our lives? The risk and reward?
This is my new Christmasy photo. :)
I feel the world is going to end soon. I mean with all this madness about the economy being so bad&how religion is practically gone. I really hope God has a plan because it seems the devil is winning…..but I know deep down God wouldn’t let that happen ever. :-) I’m not worried about it ending because the time I’ve been on earth I’ve finally realized how quick it can go so I’ve appreciate how far I’ve gotten. All thanks to God for creating my soul.
&This is reality.
I just have to say today was not exactly what I thought it would turn out to be. I actually experienced a lot of emotions and had the time of my life. At first getting a letter in the mail about that stupid counseling place scared me and threw me into a wreck but I got over it. But then in class I found out our homework had to be turned in by black board and what I did was type it up to hand in. I was little mad about that as well due to the fact I worked all night on it. Either way one assignment that may not count anyways won’t hurt me. Then after that we had an extremely hard test that I wanted to kill but then I realized oh what the hell it was hard get over it. Atleast I tried. Then after discussing my billing problem I felt even better. On top of that I had my favorite soup at my favorite restruant! To end the day, I went running with my friends all over Abingdon, walked majority, had a picnic at the Police Department, Shopped at Roses, I even got my slippers I been needing for the house. I got cheetah ones too! Then came back to Bristol to walk around Wal-mart, eat Sweet Frog, then headed over to Sams to get icee’s, then back to Wal-mart for more laps, finally to target where we played demo games. By all means I am tired but I even accomplished completing my homework. Today was just finally me living. & Realizing I have tons of support from friends& that no matter what I can do anything I want if I truly want it. Also I learnt life is temporary, the good and bad all disappears eventually. :)
For once my thursday was not bad at all! Class went by fast. I had lunch at my favorite place (Chef Heathers) and took it to Sweet Frog to visit some friends, then after went running all over main street, had a coffee at Zazzy’s, & Sweet Tea had Long John Silvers on the way home. Best day ever if you ask me! I think this whole writting everything down and practically get it off my chest & living the day is good for me. I know I can surivive this and it will be hard but it is worth the challenge.
Just practicing with the Bokeh. I’ll get a better one soon!